Education: The Golden Rule for Gender Equality

I have not written for a long time. My apologies to my readers but, my new job has been quite busy and therefore, has kept me quite concentrated. This month is known for being 'Women's month' because a day was chosen to celebrate or at least rise consciousness about the whole situation around the topic regarding gender equality all around the world. There are many documentaries that show the situation of women in places like India, Somalia, Cambodia, etc. and in the particular case of 'Half the Sky' and 'The Truth About Child Brides' they are showing a very important part that is necessary to achieve gender equality, this is education.

In the following lines I will try to identify some of the issues that go in hand with education in what respects to women trying to achieve equality and most importantly, the role women have in trying to get rid of cultural patterns that damage them along with the forthcoming generations. There are several behaviours coming from women that sometimes intentionally or unintentionally strenghten certain attitudes that contribute the continuity of male dominated attitudes and patterns. These attitudes and patterns are not culture specific but, they are more prevalent in some societies. Once again, I do not seek to be judgemental, for the situation of women is better in certain places and worse in others. Now, from my point of view, attitudes that damage women are those which deny the observance of their human rights or their integrity.

First, culture plays a very powerful role in what respects to how women are educated and brought up. It is extremeley difficult trying to get rid of attitudes (such as serving men as an obligation or regarding marriage as the one and only end for women) that up to a point in time are culture specific. The problem comes when these attitudes are still supported and enforced by younger generations and the fact of them still allowing the will of their elders or parents imposed on them, particularly on educated women. I will put this clear through an example that I heard not really long ago: 'My parents would never allow me to date you because you are not a Muslim man' Fine, it is okey to respect one's religion but, how come she is not allowed and Muslim men in general are very evident while hitting on non-Muslim women? The fact of putting obstacles to oneself is a very important part in trying to achieve equality.In this case, why are women not allowed to get involved with a man of a different religion? Are they accepting the premise of being less than men then? This is something that only depends on them to be solved.

Secondly, the part of marriage. Some women do not want to be married and it is totally acceptable and the same goes for the part of being mothers. It is reasonable to delay or reject being married for professional reasons or just for mere election, and the same goes for being a mom. Nevertheless, I am shocked to say that this argument of delaying or rejecting marriage and being a mom either for personal conviction or personal reasons, is more supported by men than by women. Unfortunately I've found phrases such as 'You are supposed to be a mom because that is women's natural destiny' or 'Being a mom is part of every woman's mission in life and it is also the law of nature' Oh, and is it also the 'Law of nature' to bring children to starve and suffer wars? Is it also the 'Law of Nature' to bring them to the world and suffer the lack of opportunities? There is a big difference between bringing children responsibly and bringing them to the world 'by instinct', if humans are supposed to be rational, then the part of respect should be observed at the moment in which a woman expresses her election of not being married or not being a mom. Dear fellow women: Keep an eye on that and please RESPECT those who do not want to be married or be moms, because trying to say that 'we are meant to be married' is like saying 'you are meant to be with somebody in order to survive' or even worse 'you need a man to be somebody or be complete' and in the part of being moms 'it is your natural destiny' please remember that world problems are mainly caused by overpopulation and that responsible parenting comes by planning, not by just bringing children to the world because'that is what we are supposed to do'.

Now, the part of marriage is also very complicated. In certain cultures, there is a deeply embedded pattern of 'women has to be in the house, because she is the most valuable being on Earth. Therefore, men are supposed to work and women must stay in the house and bear children and make food' (I wonder if those who think like this are aware of the fact of life as the weakest thing on Earth and that men can die from one day to the other? It is always easy forcing your relatives to economically support her, but not easy to actually do it.) There are many problems around the whole issue of marriage and also around the part of dependency. There is a big difference between being married because you are forced to (and when you have no idea, like when little girls are married in Bangladesh, India, Yemen, etc.) and being married because 'a single independent woman is very disturbing in this country' or getting married because 'I need somebody to support me'.

I believe that marriage should be responsible and yes, thought thoroughly and not arranged. In my view, arranged marriages (and newspapers advertisements of fathers offering their daughters) are like going to a cow peagant where the one with the best meat wins. This is giving men the stupid idea of being superior and therefore with the right to choose a woman's destiny. In the XXI century it is ridiculous because besides of enforcing the idea of women as useless beings who need a man in order to be complete or to be somebody, they are being denied an essential human right called 'freedom'. Alarmingly and also sadly, lots of women are still enforcing these ideas and, in this case, it only depends on women to stop being married off as if they were objects. Women should remember that as human beings they were born complete and they do not need any man to be complete or to be happy. The fact of being married due to necessity or because they do not want to work it is something more based on personal election but, they should not give the image of not being self-sufficient. There is nothing worse however, than standing things like domestic violence due to necessity. Women then, should teach boys and girls that marriage and parenthood are choices, not obligations.

Men also have a big part of responsibility on this but, as mentioned above, they are not entirely responsible of this, for women are also allowing it. I believe that educating male children differently is the mosty important part in the starting point of achieving gender equality. There is nothing wrong with teaching our sons and daughters than they are the same in everything: skills, capabilities and of course, value as human beings. Trust me that they are no 'less masculine' for helping with cooking food, helping with children, cleaning the house or doing other chores, on the opposite, they are even more valuable for being conscious of house work (in he end they live there too and share responsibility).

Men should also remember that if they do not want to be regarded as 'animals' they should not define themselves through basic instincts by forcing women to cover or by raping others who are not covered or by having double standards (this is: paying prostitutes or going to strip clubs), it is due to them that the oldest job of human civilization (of which many are victims) still exists. If you have the argument of 'I raped her because her clothes provoked me' one can answer ' I can break your face because your stupidity provokes me', like a very popular Facebook picture stated. The difference between the arguments of 'All men are pigs' or 'All men are just a bunch of rapists' lies in how they were educated, because if their moms showed them that brains are just an ornament in our heads, then how we expect them to use them correctly?

In some parts of the world, including Latin America, women have been pressuring governments and the private sector to be more inclusive and also to make laws that would benefit gender equality, such as the 'No More Tears' law made by the former Head of Government of Mexico City, Rosario Robles. This law seeks to stop harrassment in the streets and public transports and, it also strongly punishes rape. This last thing has been lifted to the federal level, where rapists can face charges that range from 60 years in jail to life-long sentence. In Japan for example, the government has issued an order to all companies of having at least one woman in high posts. Now Korean women have an incentive to pressure their own public sector to stop companies of firing them when they get pregnant or married and to stop detrimental measures in the case of divorce.

Education can serve as a break to all of these attitudes and problems but, it will not do much if women and men do not make the choice of evolving and getting rid of cultural obstacles. Things like discrimination, intolerance and gendering of roles can stop if both men and women are able to think about the consequences of such actions. Some have the argument of 'But you know, poor people do not have access to education and are condemened to live like that forever' I am not entirely sure if this true, because if some women living in poverty in India and in Bangladesh have been able to get rid of being married when they were girls,then I do not see why the others would not be able to. Practices such as mutilation, little girls giving birth when they are 14 and dying or women being hit or forcing them to get married or denied the right to work, besides of showing backwardness, they show the worst of all crimes: human rights violations